This is a whole new territory for the world. Fixing ourselves and supporting each other in the aftermath of over a years worth of being separated from friends, family and loved ones, and trying to move forward after some of our loved ones got left behind.
There is no doubt a rise in mental health issues for adults and children. But what about the babies? What will become of the babies born through the madness?
Separation Anxiety
I touched briefly on this after the first lockdown was lifted as Harry was experiencing it at the time.
This is a normal stage of development that occurs at around 8-10 months of age, when babies become more aware of parents leaving rooms/view, and begin to get distressed.
This, however, will become prevalent with a lot of older children too as we get back to the ‘old new normal’. And it is completely understandable. Your child has had you and possibly their other parent, at home with them, alllllll to themselves. No other mummies coming in for a coffee and a chat, no regular hustle and bustle of manic morning routines to get out the door in the morning. Just one to one.. or even one to two! Undivided Mummy and Daddy Time!
Social Awkwardness
Pre-pandemic, the world was full of music and movement toddler groups, gymborees, baby yoga and swim clubs. Remove that, and it removes the very important social interaction with peers. Learning what ‘ego-centrism’ means at its finest!-babies get to meet new friends, go head to head over the same toy while newbie mums get to talk with actual other adults over a tea in a takeaway cup.
It’s Not all Relative
Tell your family and friends to be prepared for your baby not initially diving into their arms, or going to them willingly at all. These babies spent most/all of their life as they know it seeing you through Zoom- in person is a lot different and scarier. I got comments like “ah he’s too attached to you!” after lockdown 1. And yes he was- understandably so. He knew no different for months. Be prepared for those comments- they may happen.
How to Support Your Child Now
- Re-introducing them to family and friends at a slow pace. Don’t put pressure on them or on yourself. Allow them to cuddle into you when in the same room, and eventually they will warm up. Its all about taking baby steps for them to feel comfortable around new faces.
- When life as we know it gets back, you and your baby should too. But in the lead up to it, make sure you bring your baby out in a front facing buggy. Let them see people walking by (at an appropriately distant space), bring them to a quiet playground and let them observe other little people who will be equally as curious.
- Don’t overstimulate them. Yes, we are all very excited for big get-togethers again, or even a play centre! Ease into this by having small playdates when restrictions lift to gradually get your child used to the noise and the atmosphere before taking the big leap to crazy play centres.
- If baby is due to start at a childminders/creche, start communicating with them now. Ask for a run through of their daily routine and incorporate it into yours. Make a checklist that you think makes baby feel secure and give it to them with objects with it- comforter, pictures, soother. Consistency of some kind is so helpful so try to be on the same page.
- Accept the hard days with the good. This is a huge learning step from what they currently know.
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